Callas,
From the very start I fell in love with you,
I fell in love with your artistry, your passion, your fire,
Your mastery of music, your fearlessness,
but most of all your willingness to be vulnerable.
Music can be all encompassing.
It can mesmerize you,
and make of you what it wants you to be,
It can leave you breathless, hopeless, loveless,
It can make you feel that you own the world,
It is lovely and frightnening all at once.
There must be millions of emotions that exist,
Through your voice, your spirit,
I feel I am able to experience each and every one.
I thank you for living, breathing, and bleeding music.
Thank you for doing what I was too afraid to do.
Thank you for your selflessness,
(to be an artist of your caliber, you must be selfless),
Thank you for sacrificing all that you loved,
so that you could give the world the gift of music.
I am eternally grateful.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Progress
I remember shadowing with Holly early on in my quest to become a Physician Assistant. I had just begun submitting applications, and I was feeling the pressure. I remember telling her how happy I would be once I got accepted, because I wouldn't have to worry about anything anymore. I will never forget what her response was: "No. Once you get your acceptance letter, there will be other things to worry about. Financial aid, relocating, finishing prerequisite courses, gaining healthcare experience...there will always be something to worry about." Boy, was she right!
So, I successfully completed my phlebotomy training course yesterday, and left the clinic looking like a blood donor. Both arms were bandaged. I got stuck 5 times, and got to stick 5 times. It was exhilarating; I have never done any type of invasive procedure before. Out of the 5 times I stuck someone, I got a flashback 2 times, I think. The last time I attempted the vacutainer method, I got a full vile of blood, and I did it all by myself! Talk about a rush. Now, that was just blood drawing. I can't imagine how I will feel when I get to do my first injection, or my first surgery. I have definitely made the right career choice! It feels good to have this skill under my belt, but I am a long way from mastery. My goal now is to find employment where I can use this skill on a daily basis. Practice makes perfect!
I'm also very happy that I am making progress as it pertains to earning my degree. I finally spoke to the powers that be today, and we have a clear goal set to finish this thing once and for all. The best news is I will not be required to relocate. I can complete the requirements right here in my hometown. By the end of spring I should be a college graduate. It's been a long time coming!
So, I successfully completed my phlebotomy training course yesterday, and left the clinic looking like a blood donor. Both arms were bandaged. I got stuck 5 times, and got to stick 5 times. It was exhilarating; I have never done any type of invasive procedure before. Out of the 5 times I stuck someone, I got a flashback 2 times, I think. The last time I attempted the vacutainer method, I got a full vile of blood, and I did it all by myself! Talk about a rush. Now, that was just blood drawing. I can't imagine how I will feel when I get to do my first injection, or my first surgery. I have definitely made the right career choice! It feels good to have this skill under my belt, but I am a long way from mastery. My goal now is to find employment where I can use this skill on a daily basis. Practice makes perfect!
I'm also very happy that I am making progress as it pertains to earning my degree. I finally spoke to the powers that be today, and we have a clear goal set to finish this thing once and for all. The best news is I will not be required to relocate. I can complete the requirements right here in my hometown. By the end of spring I should be a college graduate. It's been a long time coming!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
PA school starts next year, right?
If you were to look in my apartment, you would think I started PA school months ago. The house is covered in books, notes, notepads, pens, and highlighters. The cop thinks I'm crazy. What he doesn't realize is that PA school indeed starts right now!
I've never had a problem with organization, planning, discipline, and good old fashioned hard work! I know I will need these skills, and many more, in order to succeed in school. It's important that I take the year that I have and use it to my advantage. I have a mental outline of what I need to accomplish within that timeframe:
1. Finish my degree: I can do this one of two ways. Either transfer the credits or go back to my alma mater and spend a sememster there. I would prefer the former, but at this point, NOTHING is gonna stop me from getting that worthless, useless piece of paper.
2. Finish my last two prerequisite courses: both are chemistry courses. I think I will do just fine with this.
3. Gain meaningful healthcare experience: I have 500+ hours under my belt so far, but as you all know, my goal is to work in a hospital setting where I can utilize my critical thinking skills and learn simple procedures.
4. Learn as many simple procedures on my own in the meantime: Any courses I can take to learn skills will be a huge benefit to me (ie. phlebotomy next Friday!!!!!)
5. Learn to read simple Chest radiographs: I LOVE reading xrays. To me, this is a really important goal. I want to be able to look at a shadow and tell if it's abnormal or not...then go from there.
6. Learn how to read EKG's: Yes...this was something that was suggested to me. Once you have a really solid reference, EKG's make a whole lot of sense. Not too difficult. Once you know the basics, it's all about reading often so you don't loose the skill.
Not too bad, huh? I want to talk a little about numbers 5 and 6.
I've already mentioned a great website that I use extensively to learn the basics of chest radiography (learningradiology.com). From this site alone, I have learned to see simple things-pnuemothorax, pleural effusion, cardiomegaly, pneumonia, fractures, etc. There are lots of other sources that I use. Looking at lots and lots of xrays is the only way to learn abnormal from normal. I've only touched the tip of the iceberg. And now for EKG's!
These are fun, fun, fun! I got the world renowned book by Dubin yesterday. I'm almost halfway through the book...it's really that easy to read (not the EKG's, the book itself). It's broken down into simple chapters that anyone who has basic reading comprehension can understand. I think some people believe the book is too simplified, and takes away from the mystery surrounding the reading of EKG's. I don't agree. I'm the kind of person who likes to break things down to 2 +2=4...and I must know why! If I don't know why, it doesn't make sense. I think what I appreciate about this book so far is the emphasis on understanding the material rather than memorization. If you are interested in recognizing what the rhythms look like, there are plenty of books that are written that way. If you want to understand why the rhythms look the way they do, get Dubin's book.
Would I recommend this for other pre-PA students. Not at all! Everyone learns differently. These skills, and many more, will be necessary on a daily basis. I've always known that I wanted to work in the ED, and that is why I feel these paticular skills are necessary for me to familiarize myself with. Someone who is interested in nephrology may be interested in studying KUB's. Tailor your learning goals, remembering that PA's are trained as generalists first! I think the goals listed above are more than enough to keep me ahead of the game without overdoing it. Now, if I had bought that yellow Lange book I saw, that would have been another story! Just flipping through that text made my head spin. It's amazing...for every thing we learn, there are 100 things we have yet to learn.
I've never had a problem with organization, planning, discipline, and good old fashioned hard work! I know I will need these skills, and many more, in order to succeed in school. It's important that I take the year that I have and use it to my advantage. I have a mental outline of what I need to accomplish within that timeframe:
1. Finish my degree: I can do this one of two ways. Either transfer the credits or go back to my alma mater and spend a sememster there. I would prefer the former, but at this point, NOTHING is gonna stop me from getting that worthless, useless piece of paper.
2. Finish my last two prerequisite courses: both are chemistry courses. I think I will do just fine with this.
3. Gain meaningful healthcare experience: I have 500+ hours under my belt so far, but as you all know, my goal is to work in a hospital setting where I can utilize my critical thinking skills and learn simple procedures.
4. Learn as many simple procedures on my own in the meantime: Any courses I can take to learn skills will be a huge benefit to me (ie. phlebotomy next Friday!!!!!)
5. Learn to read simple Chest radiographs: I LOVE reading xrays. To me, this is a really important goal. I want to be able to look at a shadow and tell if it's abnormal or not...then go from there.
6. Learn how to read EKG's: Yes...this was something that was suggested to me. Once you have a really solid reference, EKG's make a whole lot of sense. Not too difficult. Once you know the basics, it's all about reading often so you don't loose the skill.
Not too bad, huh? I want to talk a little about numbers 5 and 6.
I've already mentioned a great website that I use extensively to learn the basics of chest radiography (learningradiology.com). From this site alone, I have learned to see simple things-pnuemothorax, pleural effusion, cardiomegaly, pneumonia, fractures, etc. There are lots of other sources that I use. Looking at lots and lots of xrays is the only way to learn abnormal from normal. I've only touched the tip of the iceberg. And now for EKG's!
These are fun, fun, fun! I got the world renowned book by Dubin yesterday. I'm almost halfway through the book...it's really that easy to read (not the EKG's, the book itself). It's broken down into simple chapters that anyone who has basic reading comprehension can understand. I think some people believe the book is too simplified, and takes away from the mystery surrounding the reading of EKG's. I don't agree. I'm the kind of person who likes to break things down to 2 +2=4...and I must know why! If I don't know why, it doesn't make sense. I think what I appreciate about this book so far is the emphasis on understanding the material rather than memorization. If you are interested in recognizing what the rhythms look like, there are plenty of books that are written that way. If you want to understand why the rhythms look the way they do, get Dubin's book.
Would I recommend this for other pre-PA students. Not at all! Everyone learns differently. These skills, and many more, will be necessary on a daily basis. I've always known that I wanted to work in the ED, and that is why I feel these paticular skills are necessary for me to familiarize myself with. Someone who is interested in nephrology may be interested in studying KUB's. Tailor your learning goals, remembering that PA's are trained as generalists first! I think the goals listed above are more than enough to keep me ahead of the game without overdoing it. Now, if I had bought that yellow Lange book I saw, that would have been another story! Just flipping through that text made my head spin. It's amazing...for every thing we learn, there are 100 things we have yet to learn.
Friday, November 7, 2008
TGIF
Another busy day at work! I'm so glad to be off this weekend. Hopefully I can force myself to stay home and rest. Who am I kidding? That's probably not going to happen.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Being the Guinea Pig
Hey, guess what?
OBAMA!!!!!
So, I finally registered for the phlebotomy course today. Next Friday, I will spend 6 hours being poked and prodded by strangers who have never drawn blood, ever. I'm assuming that I will leave the seminar looking like a meth addict! Let's hope the instructors are good, and that all of us just end up having a knack for finding the vein and drawing the blood with minimal pain!!
My goal going into PA school is to know as much as possible. That means, acquire as much knowledge and clinical skill as I can. From IV insertion to simple dressing changes, my goal is to learn these fundamental skills so when I get to PA school, I can spend my time focusing on more intricate procedures and clinical details. I am always doing searches for websites that can help me in this. Last week I found this site, learningradiology.com. Fantastic spot for beginners who are not familiar with radiographic imaging and diagnosis. There is even a student section! I've always liked looking at radiographs, but now at least I have some knowledge of what to look for and in what order. Even as a pre PA student, my heart stops momentarily while I am taking the quizzes. One mistake, one misdiagnosis can mean the difference between life and death, between being a licensed practitioner and being jobless. Medicine is so much fun!
OBAMA!!!!!
So, I finally registered for the phlebotomy course today. Next Friday, I will spend 6 hours being poked and prodded by strangers who have never drawn blood, ever. I'm assuming that I will leave the seminar looking like a meth addict! Let's hope the instructors are good, and that all of us just end up having a knack for finding the vein and drawing the blood with minimal pain!!
My goal going into PA school is to know as much as possible. That means, acquire as much knowledge and clinical skill as I can. From IV insertion to simple dressing changes, my goal is to learn these fundamental skills so when I get to PA school, I can spend my time focusing on more intricate procedures and clinical details. I am always doing searches for websites that can help me in this. Last week I found this site, learningradiology.com. Fantastic spot for beginners who are not familiar with radiographic imaging and diagnosis. There is even a student section! I've always liked looking at radiographs, but now at least I have some knowledge of what to look for and in what order. Even as a pre PA student, my heart stops momentarily while I am taking the quizzes. One mistake, one misdiagnosis can mean the difference between life and death, between being a licensed practitioner and being jobless. Medicine is so much fun!
Congrats, Obama!
Today feels different. Feels akward, new, fresh, frightening. Come January 2009, we will have a black man in the highest office of the land. My God, I can't believe this is happening.
I have no words to express what I am feeling right now. I am elated that Obama has won this election. However, I can't even begin to imagine the hardships that are to come for him and his family. Let's face it, this world ain't pretty. This country has never been pretty and probably never will be. We love to walk around in our suits and scrubs like everything is smooth sailing, like this country was founded on moral values and honorable ideals. NEWS FLASH: This country's history is as nasty as it gets. Racism/White Supremacy is what founded this country, and persists today. Yes, it does! Obama being elected President does not change this at all.
Why is it that America feels the right to 'clean house' for every other country, but fails to see the mess we have right here within our borders? Why do we deem democracy a necessity for other countries when we barely have it here? We are a suffering nation. We need help. "Minorities" in this country are dying in every sense of the word, but billions of dollars are sent to Africa. Africa is a rich nation...why do they need our money? Because we are robbing them blind! I'm rambling, I know, but these things and many others come to mind when I think about how filthy this country is. I voted for Obama, not because I feel he is the next coming of Christ. I voted for him, because I swore if McCain won this election, I was moving out of this country. To me, Obama is the better of the two. Do I feel he will make drastic changes for the working class? I don't know...he is a politician. Moreover, he is a puppet, like all presidents are. He will only do what he is allowed to do by the powers that be. The same powers that keep the working class working, and the rich rich. The same powers that recognize that keeping the minorities of the world hopeless and self hating is the key to survival. We desperately need change. We needed change 400 years ago. The time has come to put this country on the right track. I do hope Obama is the right man for the job.
I have no words to express what I am feeling right now. I am elated that Obama has won this election. However, I can't even begin to imagine the hardships that are to come for him and his family. Let's face it, this world ain't pretty. This country has never been pretty and probably never will be. We love to walk around in our suits and scrubs like everything is smooth sailing, like this country was founded on moral values and honorable ideals. NEWS FLASH: This country's history is as nasty as it gets. Racism/White Supremacy is what founded this country, and persists today. Yes, it does! Obama being elected President does not change this at all.
Why is it that America feels the right to 'clean house' for every other country, but fails to see the mess we have right here within our borders? Why do we deem democracy a necessity for other countries when we barely have it here? We are a suffering nation. We need help. "Minorities" in this country are dying in every sense of the word, but billions of dollars are sent to Africa. Africa is a rich nation...why do they need our money? Because we are robbing them blind! I'm rambling, I know, but these things and many others come to mind when I think about how filthy this country is. I voted for Obama, not because I feel he is the next coming of Christ. I voted for him, because I swore if McCain won this election, I was moving out of this country. To me, Obama is the better of the two. Do I feel he will make drastic changes for the working class? I don't know...he is a politician. Moreover, he is a puppet, like all presidents are. He will only do what he is allowed to do by the powers that be. The same powers that keep the working class working, and the rich rich. The same powers that recognize that keeping the minorities of the world hopeless and self hating is the key to survival. We desperately need change. We needed change 400 years ago. The time has come to put this country on the right track. I do hope Obama is the right man for the job.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Nobama and McCan't
So, which one will it be? Well, in about 7 hours or so, the whole world will know who the next President of the United States will be. I have to admit, I'm getting pretty excited!
I stood in line last Thursday for 5 hours...yes, 5 hours...just to cast my vote. It's amazing what kind of conversations one can have with strangers when there is nothing better to do. I met this nice young lady. She and I talked the time away! By the time I cast my vote, my feet were killing me. For some reason, I had the bright idea to wear heels that day! Well, at least I looked halfway decent.
I usually come here to vent my frustrations with work, but I had a really good day today. I was efficient, friendly, helpful, and I was given kudos for my work ethic! The highlight of my day was talking to Mr. D, a dementia patient on my floor. He is the sweetest man, but he gets confused easily, and is always looking for a way out of the building. I approached him while he was attempting one of his escapes:
Me: Mr. D, what's going on?
D: Nothing, I'm just trying to get out of here.
Me: Why would you want to do that? You tell me what you want to do and I will help you do it, ok?
D: Ok. Well, help me get out of here.
Me. Out? You can't go out. What's out there that you need?
D: Freedom.
If that doesn't give you pause, nothing will.
I stood in line last Thursday for 5 hours...yes, 5 hours...just to cast my vote. It's amazing what kind of conversations one can have with strangers when there is nothing better to do. I met this nice young lady. She and I talked the time away! By the time I cast my vote, my feet were killing me. For some reason, I had the bright idea to wear heels that day! Well, at least I looked halfway decent.
I usually come here to vent my frustrations with work, but I had a really good day today. I was efficient, friendly, helpful, and I was given kudos for my work ethic! The highlight of my day was talking to Mr. D, a dementia patient on my floor. He is the sweetest man, but he gets confused easily, and is always looking for a way out of the building. I approached him while he was attempting one of his escapes:
Me: Mr. D, what's going on?
D: Nothing, I'm just trying to get out of here.
Me: Why would you want to do that? You tell me what you want to do and I will help you do it, ok?
D: Ok. Well, help me get out of here.
Me. Out? You can't go out. What's out there that you need?
D: Freedom.
If that doesn't give you pause, nothing will.
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